An Unacceptable Offer Page 10

  In the boat, too, Fairfax and Honor were somewhat removed from Jane and Sedgeworth. But it was impossible for Jane to relax. She felt his presence as strongly as if he had a hand at her neck. She was relieved, after they had all strolled to Lord Dart’s box close to the orchestra, to find that they were free to stroll or dance at their leisure. Lady Dart declared that it was too early to think of supper yet, though they must all gather later to sample the wafer-thin slices of ham and the strawberries for which the Gardens were famous. And of course they must all sit together to witness the fireworks after supper.

  Fairfax took Honor to dance. Sedgeworth suggested to Jane that they take a walk. He grinned apologetically at her as they set off.

  “I am afraid I have mortally offended Fairfax,” he said, “and he is punishing me by staying away from me.”

  “Oh?” said Jane. She had a different theory on why the viscount was avoiding their company.

  “I thought that his quarrel with Miss Jamieson was one that could be mended,” he explained. “So I trapped him into escorting her here tonight. Do you know the cause of that quarrel, Miss Matthews? Whatever it is, it seems that Miss Jamieson has forgiven him. She is behaving most charmingly tonight.”

  “No, I do not know,” Jane said. She had wondered several times over the last two weeks whether Mr. Sedgeworth knew of her rejection of his friend. Clearly he did not.

  “I had high hopes earlier in the Season that they would make a match of it,” Sedgeworth said. “She is something like his first wife, you know, though not in looks. Lady Fairfax was very blond. Perhaps it is her very similarity to his wife that makes him hesitate. I believe he loved her very dearly.”

  “Yes,” Jane said. “I saw them together before their marriage.”

  “And I never did see them afterward,” he said. “I was always traveling, and when I was home I did not like to intrude on a married friend. Perhaps I should not try to interfere now. But I hate to see someone I care for unhappy. And I believe Miss Jamieson has made him unhappy. He has been moping around even more in the past two weeks than when I first went to see him a few months ago.”

  Jane could think of nothing to say.

  “However,” he said cheerfully, “I cannot say that I am altogether sorry that Fairfax has decided to punish me tonight. I can think of no more pleasant way to spend an evening than wandering in Vauxhall Gardens alone with a lovely lady.”

  Jane smiled. She was unused to such gallantries from Mr. Sedgeworth. “I came here five years ago with my parents,” she said, “and thought then how lovely it would be to walk here with a friend.”

  “And is that what you consider me?” he asked. “A friend?”

  She looked across at him and smiled. There was a strange tension between them that she had not felt before. “Yes,” she said.

  “I believe I am beginning to think of you as something more than that,” he said. “In fact, Miss Matthews, I would like you to be my wife. And that was very graciously said, was it not? I assure you I am quite unused to making such offers and indeed thought never to have to learn. Until the last few weeks I had every intention of living a bachelor existence.”

  He stopped walking and turned to her in some embarrassment, his hand covering hers as it rested on his arm.

  “Miss Matthews, do forgive me,” he said. “I have said it all wrong, have I not? The truth is that I have come to rely on your friendship a great deal in the last weeks. I find myself looking forward to our meetings and thinking of you a great deal when we are not together. I have come to realize that my life and my travels are going to seem very lonely and empty without you to talk to and share my thoughts with. I want to have you with me when I travel, and show you the things I have particularly loved, and experience new places with you. You have become very important to me. Am I still making a horrid mess of this? Will you marry me?”

  Jane stared. Yes, she had been expecting this, had she not, or at least suspecting that such a thing might happen? She moved her head suddenly in the direction of a noisy group of people advancing down the path on which they stood. He turned too and they strolled on until they were again almost alone.

  “I have come to rely on our friendship too,” she said. “I feel easy with you, relaxed. Oh, I do not know what to say, Mr. Sedgeworth. I like you and respect you and greatly enjoy your company. But I do not believe I can attach the name ‘love’ to my feelings for you.”

  “I did not use the word myself, Miss Matthews,” he said. “I think perhaps we are both past the age of romance, are we not? I have a deep regard for you and the liveliness and intelligence of your mind. I believe we could have an affectionate relationship, and perhaps that is not very different from romantic love. Is there any other man that you do love?”

  Jane felt her heart begin to thump. She closed her eyes for a moment. “Yes,” she said finally.

  “I see,” he said. “And is your feeling returned? Is there any chance that you will marry this man?”

  “Absolutely not, to both questions, sir,” she said.

  “Then marry me,” he said, “and know that you will be held in my affection for as long as I live. And I will see to it that you have an interesting and a secure life. I ask only your own affection and companionship in return.”

  He drew her off the path to sit on a rustic bench. The sound of the music was quite faint in the distance. Light from the breeze-blown lanterns danced across the path in front of them.

  “Am I pressing too hard?” he asked. “Forgive me. I want you to make a free decision. I want you to marry me because you wish it and not because I have talked you into it.”

  Jane looked at him, at his kindly eyes. She really did not deserve this, this one extra chance with a man as friendly and as interesting as Mr. Sedgeworth. “I would like to marry you, sir,” she said. “Thank you.”

  His face relaxed into a broad smile of relief. “Splendid!” he said. “You have made me very happy, Miss Matthews. I shall spend my life trying to make you so. My acquaintances will not believe this. I shall be teased to the death. Especially by Fairfax. I was protesting to him only a few weeks ago that I had no interest whatsoever in marriage. But then, that was before I met you. I am so very happy.”

  Jane swallowed. She felt a twinge of alarm. Was she doing the right thing? He was acting for all the world like a man in love. What had she done? She had betrothed herself to this man, her friend. Had she done both him and herself a terrible disservice? Friendship and marriage were two vastly different situations. Could she be a good wife to him? Oh, but she wanted to be. She wanted the warm security that marriage to him could bring her. She would have a friend by her side for life.

  “Tears, Miss Matthews?” he asked softly.

  She realized that they had been staring at each other for some time and that both her hands lay in his.

  She laughed shakily. “This is all very new to me,” she said. “I think I am very happy too, sir.”

  He grinned. “You think?” he said. “And will you call me by my given name? It is Joseph.”

  “Yes,” she said, “Joseph.”

  “Jane,” he said, smiling, “may I kiss you?”

  She nodded and closed her eyes as he bent his head to hers. Their hands were still clasped. She had never been kissed before. His lips were cool, firm against hers. He kept them there long enough for her to become fully aware of his physical presence. She must grow accustomed to this and to a great deal more. It was not unpleasant. She realized as he lifted his head that she was gripping his hands very tightly.

  He looked into her eyes before smiling. “There,” he said. “Was it a terrible ordeal, Jane?”

  She laughed, half in embarrassment, half in relief. “No, not at all,” she said.

  “I have committed myself to going to Templeton Hall next week," he said. “Joy and Wallace and the children are going also. Will you come too, Jane? We can get to know each other better in the country, and you can become better acquainted with part of my fami
ly. I would hate to go and know I would not see you for a few weeks.”

  Jane felt instant alarm. “Oh no,” she said. “I could not possibly intrude on a house party.”

  “Nonsense,” he said. “Fairfax is my best friend. We are almost like brothers. He will be delighted to have you come too and to have the greater chance to tease me. Besides, I have suggested to him that he invite Miss Jamieson. He will be more ready to do so, I believe, if you are going to be there too. Do say yes, Jane. Please.”

  She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders at the same time. Words would not come.

  He squeezed her hands and got to his feet, drawing her with him. “How stupid I am,” he said, “inviting you to someone else’s house party and expecting you to accept. Of course you are greatly embarrassed. The invitation must come from Fairfax himself. He will persuade you. He has great charm with ladies, does Fairfax. You will not resist his persuasions, my girl. Oh, Jane”—he squeezed her hands almost painfully—“what a very fortunate man I am. I can hardly believe it yet. All week I have been in terror that when I put the question you would refuse.”

  She smiled and leaned impulsively forward to rest her forehead against his neckcloth for a moment. “I am the fortunate one, sir,” she said. “Joseph.”

  He tucked one of her hands beneath his arm and turned back in the direction of the music and the crowds.

  Honor was in very high spirits. She had quite convinced herself that Fairfax had arranged it all himself. Why he would have made arrangements through his friend to escort her to Vauxhall and why he would do so after two weeks of making no attempt to see her, she did not stop to consider. It was sufficient for the evening that she was being seen by all the world in company with the most handsome man in London.

  They danced a great deal. At Vauxhall the conventions did not apply. They were free to dance with each other far more than the two sets that were the limit at more formal events. And Honor liked to dance beneath the lights, where she could be seen and admired by members of the ton, cits, and lower-class people alike. They walked too, along the broader paths where the bulk of the crowds strolled. And they stopped to exchange civilities with numerous acquaintances, even those who were masked. Most of the masks at Vauxhall were worn for effect rather than to disguise.

  And Fairfax finally had his kiss. She seemed eager for it. It seemed to be she rather than he who led their steps along dimmer, quieter paths after they must have been seen by most of the people in attendance that night. It was surely her footsteps that lagged more than his when they reached a particularly dark portion of the path. They both stopped, but was it she who exerted rather more pressure on his arm than he did on hers? Fairfax could not be sure. He knew only that he did not resist and that he despised himself even as he turned to her.

  He kissed her hungrily, pulling her small, shapely body against his own, parting his lips over hers, trying—in vain—to tease her soft lips open. He wanted her. He would like to take her among the trees and ... Fairfax straightened up and tried to steady his breathing without showing her how disturbed he was. Why take his anger out on her anyway? She was not its cause. And she was just an innocent young girl despite her flirtatious ways.

  She was smiling up at him in what he supposed she thought a seductive manner. “Why, Lord Fairfax!” she said. “How you do take advantage of one.”

  “Pardon me, ma’am,” he said, trying not to sound irritable or abrupt. “You are too lovely for your own good, I fear. Let me take you back to Lady Dart’s box. It must be close to suppertime.”

  He could not see her very clearly, but she looked disappointed. “It is pleasant here,” she said. “Very quiet and peaceful.”

  “And dangerous too, ma’am, I do assure you,” he said. This time his voice did sound abrupt. He attempted to smile. “Your mother would not like you to be alone like this without a female companion. Let us go and find out if the orchestra will play another waltz.” But when they reached the end of the path and turned onto another, she pulled on his arm again. “Here are Jane and Mr. Sedgeworth,” she said. “Ho, Jane, do come with us and dance. You have not done so all evening. And it is so wonderful to dance out-of-doors.” Fairfax could feel himself stiffen and was powerless either to understand his own reaction or to do anything about it. Sedge was grinning at him as if he knew that the little Miss Jamieson had just been thoroughly and quite indecorously kissed. He was probably waiting for them to announce their betrothal. Damn Sedge! If he was not careful, Fairfax was going to put himself into a position of feeling obliged to offer for the girl. And he really had no wish to do so. He had found her chatter during the evening quite tedious, and when he had kissed her he had felt lust only, not any degree of tenderness.

  He tried not to look at Miss Matthews. Sedge was still grinning. “This is an evening to remember, Fairfax,” he said. “You owe me congratulations.”

  Fairfax’s heart turned over within him. “Oh?” he said, one eyebrow raised.

  “Miss Matthews has just made me the happiest of men,” Sedgeworth said. “She has agreed to be my wife. Now, what do you think of that!”

  Honor squealed and hurled herself at Jane. “Oh,” she cried, “that is wonderful! I knew it. I just knew it. I am so glad. And I thoroughly approve. Oh, Jane, I am so happy for you. I am so happy.” She hugged and kissed her cousin and danced her around in a circle. A group of young gentlemen who passed at that moment gave her openly appreciative glances.

  The few seconds had given Fairfax the time necessary to recover from what had felt like a low and vicious punch. He held out a hand to his friend. “Congratulations, Sedge,” he said. “I wish you happy. I am sure you will be. You dark horse!”

  “How could I tell you?” Sedgeworth said with a grin. “She might have refused and I would have felt foolish in your eyes.”

  Honor turned from Jane and looked as if she would hurl herself at Sedgeworth too. She checked herself in time, but her eyes sparkled and her lips smiled. She held out both hands to him. “Mr. Sedgeworth, I am so glad that it is you who are to be my cousin-in-law,” she said. “Is there such a thing? You are very fortunate to have Jane. She is a very special person, you know. But I think she is fortunate too. Congratulations, sir.”

  Sedgeworth, smiling, lifted her hands one at a time to his lips. Fairfax and Jane were left standing a little apart while this interchange was taking place. He turned to her, his face drawn and unsmiling. He held out a hand.

  “My best wishes, Miss Matthews,” he said. “You have chosen a good man. I wish you happy.”

  She put her hand in his and raised her eyes to his. Their hands remained clasped and their eyes locked for nameless seconds. What message passed? Fairfax wondered. He felt almost that he needed an interpreter. For the space of a few seconds their eyes penetrated beyond surfaces. They looked into each other’s souls. He was left with a sense of deep grief and loss.

  “Thank you, my lord,” she said evenly.

  He raised her hand to his lips and they broke eye contact.

  “I have been persuading Jane to marry me this summer,” Sedgeworth was saying, “so that I may take her traveling during the autumn. Provided the Continent is safe for travel by then, of course. But I think we can trust to old Wellington. If it is still not possible to travel there, we will go to Scotland, will we not, Jane?” He tucked her arm through his and smiled warmly at her.

  “Wherever you wish,” she said. “Almost everywhere in the world is new to me.”

  “Travel,” Honor said. “Oh, lucky Jane! May I be your bridesmaid and accompany you on your wedding trip?” She laughed so gaily that they all joined in.

  So that was it, Fairfax was thinking. She wanted something more glamorous from marriage than a home in the country and a ready-made family. She preferred Sedge and his adventurous life. He would not have thought it. It seemed he had misjudged Miss Jane Matthews from the start. And was she happy with her choice? She smiled and clung to Sedge’s arm, but she did not appear as exuberant
as he. And she studiously avoided looking at himself again.

  “Fairfax!” Sedgeworth looked back at him as if he were about to announce some world crisis. “Jane has positively refused to say she will come to Templeton Hall next week. I have committed myself to coming with Joy and Wallace, yet I cannot possibly leave my betrothed here. Now you must give her a formal invitation so that she can see she will be quite welcome.”

  Good God! For perhaps a few seconds Fairfax viewed his problem, aghast. He could not have the woman at Templeton Hall. He would go mad. Yet there was no possible way he could refuse Sedge’s request. It would not have occurred to Sedge, of course, to ask in private. He could not know that there was any possible objection to Miss Matthews’ visiting the Hall. Good God.

  “There can be no question of your refusing, Miss Matthews,” he said to the back of her head. “Of course you must come with Sedge. I cannot do without his presence, you know, and he must not be asked to do without yours. I formally invite you to join my small house party at Templeton Hall next week. You will be very welcome, ma’am.”

  “Joseph!” she said in a stifled voice. “How could you put Lord Fairfax into such a very awkward predicament?”

  He laughed. “He knows very well that I would do the same for him,” he said. “I told you we are like brothers.”

  “And Miss Jamieson,” Fairfax was saying, “if your cousin is to come, why not you too? Would you be willing to miss a few weeks of the Season in order to join my house party? Sedge’s sister will be there to act as a chaperone. Shall I call on your mother tomorrow and ask her permission?”

  Honor glowed up at him. “Oh, that would be divine, my lord,” she said. She performed a few skipping steps. “What a wonderful day this is turning out to be.”

  She was still bubbling with excitement when they returned to the box and could hear that the orchestra was just beginning a waltz tune. No one else from their party had yet returned. “It is a waltz,” she said, clasping her hands. “Mr. Sedgeworth, do come and dance with me. I wish to have a serious talk with you to discover if you really are suitable for my cousin.” She giggled and hauled a smiling Sedgeworth off in the direction of the floor.